Day Thirty

Nothing makes me feel more unnoticed than someone looking at me and not being able to see the person I am.

This will only make sense to people who see, so please

- - - -distance yourself from the screen if you are in denial- - - -

-

For the past few days there has been a lot of movement and positivity 

among guests and dynamics.

Yet there is that one person who will try and distract you when you're most drawn to a conversation - just to say something stupid like "do you want a beer from the fridge" when you're having tea.
That one person who will be loud while everyone's calm.
That one person who will slam doors and talk out loud to make his presence and activities noticed.
That one person who will ignore you for days and then ask for explanation to why you're being so cold and unreasonable.

That one person who can drag you out of your peace and drive you all the way to crazy.

And what are you supposed to do?

Go along to something that has no rhythm;
Close up completely and become that bitch;
Create allies and pretend it's all good;
Or exit the situation completely?

I tried an other way.

I tried to talk.

It didn't work.

It's almost like anything you say is bladabeeblah to the person's ear and whatever you've said comes back to you double. With blame.

I'm not about this life.

Cz I used to be it.

Gheez I must have been hectic to be around.



So please,

- - - -advise alternative while I chew my pride- - - -