Day EightySeven

Big Saturday night.

Big bartying

as everyone is feeling the end coming closer.

We gather at Rosy's rooftop 

where the bbq is on

and the worries are off.

The setting is wonderful

and the setting sun sweetens the mood.

We chill

in a very inclusive yet free way.

We pass around 

smiles and drinks

and the dusk finds us

in the middle of Beirut,

moving to HB terrace for predrinks

and then to big bartying at chosen club.

Yalla barty.

Day EightySix

Friday

and I'm being a party pooper

letting everyone know that

the cocktail I had at that bar last night 

bothered my stomach

and that I firmly refuse

to carry my ill body out

for bardying.

The Hummozapiens

WhatsApp group goes crazy

with silly comments

and pictures 

of all of our different moods.

Zeed goes like

'Come on Eli come out',

Hanna is badass as always 

agreeing to going out,

Chadya is sitting next to me

sending pictures to the group

of her efforts to motivate me,

I'm chilling taking pictures of Michele

who just happens to pass by 

as we mention him in the group.

Many lolz.

And this all

becomes amazing entertainment 

for me on a Friday night.

So so pleased with the small moments

and the Hummozapien vibez.

TGIH

<3

Day EightyTwo

Mum's gone,

it's my last week in Lebanon,

feeling feelings from loverboy afar

and my hair's growing.

I feel loved,

I feel refreshed, 

and secure in my surroundings.

We take selfies in the bathroom for no reason

and I'm rocking the rocks that I got from the street market

     

Haven't seen the girls that much over the past few days

but before we have time to catch up

we're all out on the street stairs

and I ask them to take pictures of my performance.

They look at me strangely and proceed 

to fulfill my favour

cz they can see my untamed excitement

and lack of willingness to explain.

The performance is meant for loverboy afar

who feels very close today. 

I climb the stairs

I get the performing buzz

and elegantly 

pose and pause 

as if to

say something

in between.

I'm loving it.

It makes me feel.

It gives me direction to move.

I go up

I go down

the rest are chilling

and chatting

and being part of the natural flow

of my performance

taking place here

but more so 

there afar.

Day EightyOne

Sunday Calmday

or so it pursuits.

Saturday night and

I return home; 

to the warm space I can have a shower

and my space

after spending two nights at a posh hotel with mum.

And I don't know what's heavier;

being at a posh hotel after living the hostel life for months,

or spending constant time with mum.

both.

I have my shower and walk comfortably in and out the dorm.

I feel the space inside and around me.

Kaloua is on the bed,

we greet each other and part

as I go to dry my hair.

I wear my cozy baggies

and walk down stairs

for my cup of tea;

peace.

I have my realisations

and a couple of sips

just before the girls walk in from their day trip.

We hug and catch up.

We go to bed 

and wake up for Sunday breakfast.

And it's the first one we've had together at this new hostel.

And it's lovely.

Day SeventyThree

Shift Switch

and I'm working on this cosy rainy Saturday.

The girls have moved out 

and it's the first weekend they're not around.

The house is still full 

and there's peculiar movement;

sometimes extremely quiet

other times fully busy.

The group from Denmark

are here this afternoon and I spend time with them around the sofas.

Puppy is happily jumping from one extended arm to the other

and I watch it, 

in case it gets close to any walking feet

or close to Tereza,

ready to whistle at it.

Sizle

is super open and friendly.

she asks me what brought me here and she tells me a bit about her too.

I tell her I want to keep Puppy

but I haven't got a stable home right now.

Erkan 

passes around some Danish candy

and they insist that I try the 'wine one'.

I avoid the liquorice

but end up holding one that is liquorice inside the orange sugar coat.

We laugh at it.

I ask if anyone is having dinner and they very encouragingly say they will try what I make!

I decide to make a new recipe;

one my sister taught me when she was studying in Greece.

Her housemate had come up with it.

It's pasta with tuna & haloumi

cooked in tomato sauce

& spices.

It's delicious.

I can't believe I hadn't cooked it all this time here.

I make the dish

and some parsley salad with feta on the side.

We dine and discuss over the table

and it's a short personal meeting with 

the way Patrik thinks and speaks.

Something I haven't had the chance

to explore over the past days.

It's their last night 

and they will be checking out before

the morning shift.

So I enjoy our cosy dinner,

loving that they have tried the special pasta recipe

and bid them farewell 

in the way you bid farewell to people at a hostel;

i.e. in uncertainty 

and hopeful intentions

for this farewell to stand

in future paths.

Day SixtySeven

The ultimate 'I don't wanna know' Day.

I don't wanna know that the girls moved out-

hence I distract myself with lovely encounters with SW.

I don't wanna know if Mallory is coming back or staying in Greece-

hence I distract myself with lovely encounters with SW.

I don't wanna know if I'll never see SW again-

so I distract myself by drawing an elephant on the wall.

I don't wanna know how long this elephant will take-

so I distract myself by practicing my contemporary floor dance

as Chadya takes over the drawing.

I don't wanna know how much all this is gonna hurt-

so I light up a cigarette and smile in the sun.

Day FiftySeven

Thursday

the alarm goes off

after a four hour sleep
preceded by a pub quiz we didn't win,
a newly discovered RnB venue,
and shots at a local bar.

I expect a hangover 
but it never hits me.

More so 
it is a quiet and easy day where
literally everyone at the hostel
has set off for camping.

Alex is going South
while the team of girls with Basem are going North.

I see them getting ready and it's really like sending the kids to school.
They prepare the bags while I check if they got their toothbrushes,
they get things from the kitchen while I say plastic cups is a good idea,
and they head off as I do the count of who's going.

I pray they have a good time
and that all the ducks come back
as I return to the desk.

Duce and Hanna 
are the only ones left,
including Arturo
who's new to the house.

The night comes and we set out our own little camp fire
i.e. sit around the low living room table
and decorate it with snacks
while we talk about stories and gossip.

Zeed joins and though he's the one drinking wine
it looks like it's hit me and Han.

We go on and on
on the wagon of 'seen better'
and we're between
boredom has hit and cards of humanity.

'Seen better' is a way to comment on a situation that isn't the best.

'Seen better nights'

'Seen better girlfriends'

'Seen better religions'

'Seen better eyesites'

'Seen better discussion topics'

'Seen better Australians'

and the night continued with hummus, Doritos

and the nonsense

that made perfect sense.

Seen better blog posts.

Day FiftyOne

Reality check

for things that bother, 

and are bothering

me

and

you.

Being constantly observed

is a thing that bothers me

and it bothers you too.

Being snappy on every interaction

is a thing that bothers me

and it bothers you too.

Being mistrustful 

is a thing that bothers me

and it bothers you too.

Being accusing

is a thing that bothers me

and it bothers you too.

Being fake

is a thing that bothers me

and it bothers you too.

So before we clash

let's think again

and read again

and see again

that me

 could easily be exchanged with

you.

Day Fifty

Golden Anniversary

for 50 days of blogging,

seeing that it might not reach

the 50 year anniversary.

If it does though, 

I really do hope I remember to link this blog post to that!

...Blogging is something so flexible yet so insightful;

you can choose what to write

yet you write it the way -you- see it

it gets delivered in your own package

and the reader received whatever has been packed.

People who have experienced the same day

will give a completely 

different 

collection of events and feelings.

And that's pretty amazing;

pretty much like real life,

where you see one thing

and the other sees an other.

So this blog post is dedicated to perceptions

and how the blog

intensifies them;

brings them to life;

or sugar-coats them.

A blog will also ask for 

reflection.

It has helped me over the past 50 days

to look back in the day and

remember,

relive,

and appreciate

the sweet gestures,

snappy replies,

honest looks,

and 

warm hugs.

And it is now teaching me to take 

none 

too seriously.

For they are all

expressions 

of the moment.

And whatever you give focus to

grows.

So I'm glad

whatever needs to grow more will;

and whatever needs to die will;

inshallah.

Day FourtySix

Sunday funday

and I didn't know I was getting a group haircut today.

We make plans for getting Sawsan a birthday cake and wait for her to exit the premises after singing her the classic #HappyBirthdaySong

on the sunny terrace.

Sawsan leaves and says she'll be back for dinner.

Alex and I set off for the birthday mission as we come up with cake decoration ideas

like marshmallows,

and smarties.

We find what we want and return to the hostel.

Chadya is on a different mission;

to cut and dye my hair.

I usually do it myself so I have start considering myself my own professional

but she has done it before so I take my chances.

Bastien, who is leaving tonight 

is also on our dorm balcony and I'm confused as to how this event has taken male extension.

'Can I cut your hair?'

He says.

'Erm... Yeah!

Have you cut hair before?'

'Ah yeh! (He's French)

One time

When I was drunk'

'Ok, sure!'

I say jokingly.

He grabs the scissors 

and Alex is looking at my reaction.

I start thinking they're in the joke together

and that in fact Bastien

is good

at cutting hair

and this is a bluff..

I sit on the balcony wall,

he grabs some hair

and chops it off.

He extends his hand

and shows me

my chopped 

hair

in

his

palm.

I have a mini stroke 

and burst out laughing histerically

'What is thisssss

Bastiennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!'

'Ah it's your hair!

I cut it!'

With so much confidence,

so much aura,

so much sarcasm

one would think it's a dream

or rather a nightmare.

I really didn't know how to react apart from continuing to

laugh

hysterically. 

Chadya comes and I beg her to fix this!

She starts speaking to Bastien in French and between French lines I hear

'Catastrophe!'

And I agree!

'Quelle catastrophe!'

She chops a few more ends off

and tidies it up

while my adrenaline returns to normal levels.

I touch my head and find that I still have enough hair.

The jokes continue 

with my exaggeration,

Bastien's humour

and Chadya's comfort.

We proceed to dye my hair on the terrace 

as we meet new people who have just arrived.

I walk around with the dye on my head while Alex calls for cake decorations.

Sawsan is back and wondering around the common area.

We take the cake downstairs and start decorating

what turns out to be one of the fanciest cakes I've ever seen.

We make an smooth entrance 

gathering around the table for dinner

as the rest of the group walk in

with the panoramic cake.

I watch Sawsan being the sweetness that she is

and how delighted she is to have 

such a cozy

warm 

birthday day.

She blows out the candles.

We hug her 

as she reads the post-it notes

with birthday wishes in various languages.

Dinner is ready

and I'm off to wash my hair.

Day FourtyFour

Losing faith in reason today

as one person is complaining and the other is moody to you.

Just to you specifically.

So you're moody back to see if it works for them.

And then a Latino looking tall hot person walks in.

Sex male

and you can sense that sensuality is what he goes by

through his loose top and latino hat that he doesn't take off until after 

the induction finishes.

Meanwhile our pregnant guest who was out for a couple of days returns 

and catches up with the girls on the terrace while I show Latino male his private room.

I sigh at the sight of it 

cz I wanted to be using this room

on a longed meeting with guy Y.

I don't know why guy Y 

isn't in my personal space yet 

but it gets a bit frustrating.

I have some left over tacos 

and continue to search for reasons I'm here.

Then I think of all the surreal things I hear

and see

like how Ama leaves without electricity when she's home

and how Hanna has a twin sister

or how Jay said

he would emulate me for the way I view people, the way I deeply understand my surroundings

or how Cyprus was one of the questions on the pub quiz the other night.

But still,

Y

Day ThirtyFour

Duce,

(Middle age French Canadian)

got a phone today.

Mohammed,

(19yr old cute Egyptian)

got his grades today.

Christina,

(young dynamic German)

is ill today.

Alex,

(PhD student with manners)

had his favourite manaeish today.

Zeed,

(Dutch Iranian cool dude)

had chicken today.

Johanna,

(young friendly German)

checked out today.

Ed,

(young English boy with Master's)

got a refund today.

Michael,

(Egyptian designer)

got Dubai working visa today.

I,

(cool Cypriot)

got the blues today.

Jay,

(Canadian legend)

got a flight today.