Day Hundred

Platinum Anniversary

for 100 days 

of blogging today

and only half

of the amazing

experiences I'm living

have been recorded.

In fact through blogging

I realise how amazing life is

as it puts 

a reflective element

in every day.

Just like today

for instance,

where blogging 

wasn't even part of any

thought process 

at any part of the day.

Today

we set off for the beach.

Protaras

is the land of 

promised paradise.

And on a good day,

between May and October,

it is.

But today is 

windy April

and Fig Tree Bay

has red flags on;

something I haven't

witnessed before!

Gregg asks if people

surf

and I had said

there are no waves.

Yet here we are,

standing before

a wavy Fig Tree Bay.

We move to the other

side of the coast

where it's less windy.

Gregg and Alex

go for exploration 

of the cliffs,

and Hanna 

sets her tanning game on

while I get the colouring book

the girls have bought me 

out.

I'm using some markers 

I got from the hostel

and I still wonder

if they were Sawsan's 

and if she had left them there

on purpose.

The sun

is fun

and I've missed it.

Right on time

as I finish colouring

the guys come back and

hunger strikes the group.

We set off for food.

In our lil car

with our lil familyyy.

We finish eating

gyros

right in time

for the sunset

and arrive 

at the rocks I've been

eagerly wanting to take

everyone at.

It's actually Alex's 

birthday today

and though we haven't 

been making 

a big deal

about it

this is like a gift moment.

The view is amazing 

and we have all shared

a space for ourselves

and for each other

during the long

but instant

moments

we have been there.

The time seems 

inexistent

and not even

the sunset

triggers

any sense of

movement.

We are still

and grounded.

We start to play

a tribal game

of stakkado 

singing

of repetition

of repetition

of any phraze

of any phraze

and any sOund-

and any sOund-

as the night faaa'alls

as the night faaa'alls

N we just bond 

N we just bond.

Day NinetyNine

We had

one job today.
And it was to get to 
Paralimni.

We set off
in our backpacks
after what has become
a breakfast ritual
of fresh and dried fruits,
bread,
yogurt,
honey
and 
oats
and reach town
for the long coming
bus ride to
beach town.

We have some gyros
between waiting
and looking for a car 
to rent,
and realise that
all we've been doing
is eat.
Which supports 
local culture trends 
quite well.

We arrive 
to the bus stop
and two hours later
to the beach town
and beach house/
flat.

I haven't been here
since last September
when my Romanian friends
were here.
Literally two days
before visiting
Lebanon;
and staying there 
for months.

We pop to the supermarket 
close by
and on the way
manage to rent a car
from a guy
who meets us 
on the streets of the neighbourhood.
We drive the three minute drive
and as the night sets
we've spread out
our stuff,
claimed our beds,
Gregg has cooked something for us
and we're knibbling 
on mixed nuts
and cider
as the next 
UNO marathon
sets off.

And we have 
become exactly as
Hanna has been 
describing us;
a lil family.

Day NinentyFive

Sunday Foodday

and we start off our adventures with eating.

First breakfast,

and then the housecooked pastitsio dish

my dad made.

With mushrooms 

instead of minced meat

and all the vegetarians in the house are winning.

He's fasting for Easter

so it's a good chance for him to try

a varietion of the dish.

It's less oily too.

I hope that gets noted

for future reference.

We head out

to find a place with internet.

I know it sounds needy

but none of us is that obsessed with 

the internet

for social media.

Ok maybe Hanna, maybe a little bit,

but more so the girls than I

want to update people

of where they are

what they're doing

what they're eating

where they're staying.

It's all good and familiar for me

but 

for what their grandmas know

they could be in France 

having cheese and wine.

We get to Ifantourgio;

a cool space which has become 

a book club as of lately.

The furniture is a coordinated 

combination

of complete

random shapes and textures

and it's lovely.

We pick a leather couch

with two armchairs on each side

and spread out

like F.R.I.E.N.D.S. do.

We order our coffees and start blogging.

I love that the girls are here

and it helps me experience things as an outsider.

Truth be told,

I haven't had Finish friends before

especially not in Cyprus

and especially not two

that have been my dorm mates for 

two months.

I take a break to look around at the streets.

I recognise an alley

diagonally opposite

to my left

and I remember the day I left

without saying hi

to Y

and it's almost like his presence is sketched there

at the bar I never visited.

I switch back

post a post

and 

wonder how many of my thoughts are

self induced.

Day NinetyOne

Going through the day

as if I'm not leaving.

My roots have grown so deep

that I feel unmoved

and well grounded.

The day is a pleasant rush

as we go to Shatila for our last 

English class 

and fitness class.

It's the last time for all of us

and it's quite emotional.

Victor has come along with his camera,

Heyly's here and Basem has come along too.

We share a class with Jenny

as Hanna and Alex 

take up the other two classes.

The class runs smoothly.

And I admire Jenny's kindness with kids.

Amazing communication ways.

So innocent and bright.

The kids respond

and I catch myself watching.

The next class is my favourite.

The time comes and we enter.

We draw and write in textbooks

and half way through

as is common,

the kids get impatient and want something more entertaining.

We sind if you're happy and you know it.

I'm a lot more physical today

with hugs and kisses

I drown them.

Their Arabic speaking teacher Rawan walks in

and I ask her to translate to them

that I'm leaving today.

Going [so called] home.

She translates it..

'Mis Alina rooha al beit'.

I wait for a response.

A meh one.

The kids go loud

'£&#+£('

What are they saying!

I ask.

They're asking for me to stay.

I have no response.

Rawan signals for them to sing a song for us.

They sing it.

It sounds sad and my eyes water.

I look at Jenny and we're both holding it in.

I ask what it means.

She says it's a goodbye song.

It sounded so

so

sincere.

My god.

-

Fitness class and the girls walk in.

An hour of handstands doesn't seem long enough

and the time comes when we say

'one more and then halas ok?'

ten times.

We don't want to stop

as much as they want to continue.

We are all aware 

that it's Hanna, Alex and my last time here.

We say our goodbyes 

in a more positive than anything tone.

Thankful for the days we shared,

grateful,

and most of all hopeful

that this class continues to evolve

with Mallory

and whoever

comes along

or comes back.

Girl power goodbyes.

--

And finally,

rushing back to the hostel

to pack

and leave.

Who wants to do that?

I do that old task

of packing

and rush down

for more personable goodbye rituals.

Ed, Jen, Julia and Mals

have come along.

Greg, Han, Alex

and Kaloua

gather around.

I wonder if they're all here for me.

I feel special

and warmed in the lovely circle we have created.

Puns intended as we 

henna my hand with Arabic letters of silence 

and seen.

All is complete;

the circle takes it's last curve

and our goodbye 

seems like a welcome.

We meet where we begun;

where there wasn't a beginning

or an end.

Day Ninety

General Security

The day I thought I was gonna be denied exit from Lebanon

and wished it happened.

I waited three months for the day my visa expires

and a day before it did

I was wishing it just did.

That way

I wouldn't have to exit the country.

Yet I booked a flight and now 

had to

go to General Security 

for that exit stamp.

Crazy thing to do on a rainy day like this one.

Not even God wanted me to go.

[Cypriot translated & paraphrased way to say

God is crying with me/for this]

I sit in the corridor,

waiting,

for my faith to be decided by the all-male staff 

in army uniforms.

I'm very smily today

and happy.

I look around and it hits me;

how much I'm gonna miss this

disorganised

layed-back

unpredictable

setting.

'Elin

fadale'.

He gives me my stamped passport.

Now I have to go.

They're closing anyway.

--

Last night 

and the grand Hummozapiens

are out.

I'm on my way there

but Mals and I take a detour.

We go to another bar

where I tell the barman guy that I'm leaving tomorrow.

Next to that bar,

another barman friend tells me his mind trips

as I say I'm leaving.

God is still crying about this

and the old bar owner agrees with me.

Jimmy,

an awesome man.

It feels weird to go to

what has become 

your neighbourhood

and say you're leaving.

To where yeane?

Day EightySix

Friday

and I'm being a party pooper

letting everyone know that

the cocktail I had at that bar last night 

bothered my stomach

and that I firmly refuse

to carry my ill body out

for bardying.

The Hummozapiens

WhatsApp group goes crazy

with silly comments

and pictures 

of all of our different moods.

Zeed goes like

'Come on Eli come out',

Hanna is badass as always 

agreeing to going out,

Chadya is sitting next to me

sending pictures to the group

of her efforts to motivate me,

I'm chilling taking pictures of Michele

who just happens to pass by 

as we mention him in the group.

Many lolz.

And this all

becomes amazing entertainment 

for me on a Friday night.

So so pleased with the small moments

and the Hummozapien vibez.

TGIH

<3

Day EightyFive

Last Thursday in Berut.

And I know that cz my visa expires

on the Wednesday.

Haven't booked a ticket

feeling moody

not caring

not giving a single fuck.

Wanna stay

then I wanna go

then I don't wanna go to Cyprus

then I wanna go Dubai

then I'm rushing it

then I know I have to go anyway

then I'm not ready.

And so

I don't fuvking book my flight.

Halas.

Ain't nobody got time for this stress.

We're out at a bar

with the Hummozapiens

and they're asking me when I'm leaving

so we can arrange a goodbye barty. 

I say arrange the barty

and I'll leave after that.

They love me

they're so caring.

They wanna see me good

weather I stay

whether I go.

So I book the flight later.

    

Day EightyFour

Shatila Day

and after meeting with Sara

for a dear chat

I run 

to catch a bus

to meet

the girls teaching

and the girls receiving

the fitness class.

At Shatila.

I walk in the building

with the most non-reserved feeling;

the feeling I always get when arriving

at Bukra Ilna.

That feeling that 

is bigger than me

and makes me feel bigger than any fear.

It's the feeling of love.

Time after time

I've mentioned this

and time after time

it overcomes my

whole being.

To communicate without words

and to purely see what is

and not what is created.

I walk in and Kinana

with the other teachers, are preparing Easter muppets

and they pause to show me.

Kaloua is there too;

she looks at me with the proud, admiring love look

she's been looking at me recently.

I'm happy to see her 

and it's a very cosy scene to have walked into.

I proceed to the fitness room.

I walk in the middle of Alex and Hanna's warm up

'Look who's here!'

Alex exclaims with a shining bright smile.

My heart is full of it,

and it's all expanded to all directions.

Ilaf approaches me and we hug.

I look at Mallory from a distance and we laugh out love

consciously sharing this moment

as the only thing that ever mattered.

I jog to the back of the class

and join the class.

The energy is high

and all appreciation is with it

for the special moments we share amongst us;

the so called privileged white girls from the West

joining their eagerness and enthusiasm

to share fitness guidance and moral support 

to underprivileged girls from the East

in a setting which is not ideal for either

but one where magic happens.

We exercise,

do the handstands

on the walls

and sweat it out.

The amazing class finishes.

And then.

We announce to them that we're leaving soon.

As soon as next week.

And their dreams are crashed once more

just a little bit

less than last time.

Mallory will be around,

and though the weight is heavy to carry

the girls' passion to continue the classes

seem to lighten the tone.